The day I dread is getting closer than I expected and I only pray that God saves me from having to make the hard decision.

I have enjoyed his peaceful company for the last 14 years. He came to my life as a beautiful golden retriever puppy. He was as golden as the Namib dessert is at sunset and we named him Nambi. Always adventurous, fearless and never complained of any pain. He was gifted with a beautiful predisposition. He never sought a fight and his signature greeting was a happy noise, a wagging tail and a lick in your face. At every stage of his life we call him different names: Nambi, Golden, Tus, Pooh Pooh but the name that stick the most was Poohbear and that is how he is known now.

For the last 3 months I have spend my mornings walking him slowly to his favorite place so he can feel the grass under his feet and soak up the sun. His once beautiful fur is now very thin, and his still beautiful face shows the signs of age. His face is not golden any more but white like the angel in my dreams.

We knew when he was a puppy that his hips were going to fail one day. The vet told us once that he was the poster child of hip dysplasia. That never stopped him from enjoying life at the fullest. He loved the water and swam at every chance he got. He learned to bark on command and used it to his advantage each time he wanted a treat. Although annoying, it became adorable to me.

People say that the company of a dog has mood-enhancing benefits. This proved absolutely true for me. I still feel an incredible peace when I hug him, and I feel extreme happiness when his loving eyes meet mine. It is humbling to know that somebody can love you that much.

For the past year, my beautiful Golden has slow down. I learned to accommodate my schedule and my pace to his. I knew one day I will loose him and so I decided to fully enjoy every second that I was blessed with his company.

Three days ago, his legs finally gave up. He stop wanting to go for his walk. He can not longer stand without help and I know the time is coming. I promised myself to be strong, to find comfort knowing that he has had the best possible life and that he never lacked love; however it does not make it any easier. I know I have to let him go for his own development, but I only hope his departure from this world will be natural since I do not believe we have the right to end life that we did not create. I want him to go to sleep and fly free in his dreams to a better place and I pray that God grants me that wish.

Thank you Nambi, my beautiful Poohbear for sharing with me your life.